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Self defence for abuse victims

#1 User is offline   redsquare74ucys 

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  Posted 24 January 2010 - 08:53 AM

Just wanted to draw everyone's attention to this thread

http://accforum.org/forums/index.php?showt...amp;#entry98026

I am looking for anyone else in a similar situation to see if we can get something going in Wellington
SPECIFICALLY for victims of violence, sexual abuse, or continued threat who are impacted by a lack of
confidence:

- going out
- around aggressors
- feeling generally safe in the world

I'm sure you all would like to help, but please refrain from suggesting self defence courses in the community
as I have already established there are none anywhere close to me. Hard to believe, but true.
Likewise suggestions of Judo, Karate clubs etc etc. These are NOT taylored to victims who are fearful of being
overpowered. If they suit you, then woopee for you. They intimidate me and leave me feeling more vunerable
than before.

Thanks in advance.

PM if interested.
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#2 User is offline   neddy 

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Posted 24 January 2010 - 11:47 AM

View Postredsquare74ucys, on Jan 24 2010, 10:53 AM, said:

Just wanted to draw everyone's attention to this thread

http://accforum.org/forums/index.php?showt...amp;#entry98026

I am looking for anyone else in a similar situation to see if we can get something going in Wellington
SPECIFICALLY for victims of violence, sexual abuse, or continued threat who are impacted by a lack of
confidence:

- going out
- around aggressors
- feeling generally safe in the world

I'm sure you all would like to help, but please refrain from suggesting self defence courses in the community
as I have already established there are none anywhere close to me. Hard to believe, but true.
Likewise suggestions of Judo, Karate clubs etc etc. These are NOT taylored to victims who are fearful of being
overpowered. If they suit you, then woopee for you. They intimidate me and leave me feeling more vunerable
than before.

Thanks in advance.

PM if interested.


I have a friend who used to instruct women in self-defence, and she used to say the best defence is to know they may only hurt you if you allow your spirit to be bruised.

Yeah Martial Arts are good but are more offensive than defensive, one of the reasons I gave Tai Kwan Do away after a number of years.

One of the things not known is the very close relationship between Tai Chi and Tai Kwan Do, the katas are the same virtually, just slowed right down and seems less agressive, though those blows can disable.

Are there any groups or centres around you where you can socialise and practise interaction in a safe environment without fear, your local Community Health Team may be able to help.

In my view having the ability to defend oneself is good, but if one is still afraid to go out in the world it's purpose is defeated.
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#3 User is offline   MINI 

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Posted 24 January 2010 - 01:21 PM

Depending on your strength and injury area will depend on how effective 'self defence instruction' is!!

In my case a rather beefy child could knock me over and I would be defenceless, so the thought of fighting back is useless.

Other measures have to be used to overcome the fear of being vulnerable. I find the mindset is important. People can only hurt you if you let them. Personally I do not go anywhere near anyone who would harm me physically. I find I have no one in my life who would want to do that. It cuts out a lot of people from my life, but thats OK!! And that is the bit you have to learn to live with. If those people are in your immediate surroundings, move...................be prepared to go without attending family do's if you have too, if you don't feel safe.

In the end you can never be 100% sure that you are safe whatever you do, so just do whatever you feel happy with. If you feel unsafe just going out in the dark or down the road, then you have a social problem that can be helped by one to one counselling by trained counsellors. I found a few sessions with them help. The problem doesnt go away altogether, but I find I have a calmer feeling about going out at night for instance.

In Wellington there used to be Womens groups who got together to give each other encouragement and had each others telephone numbers as lifelines, surely that type of thing is still around. Surely the City Mission or Citizens advice, Victims Support and the like would know whats about.

I will try and fing out more for you.

Mini
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#4 User is offline   redsquare74ucys 

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Posted 26 January 2010 - 10:19 PM

View Postredsquare74ucys, on Jan 24 2010, 10:53 AM, said:

I'm sure you all would like to help, but please refrain from suggesting self defence courses in the community
as I have already established there are none anywhere close to me. Hard to believe, but true.
Likewise suggestions of Judo, Karate clubs etc etc. These are NOT taylored to victims who are fearful of being
overpowered. If they suit you, then woopee for you. They intimidate me and leave me feeling more vunerable
than before.


As I mention before, thanks for your interest.
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