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Marriage Issue, Need some guidance.

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Posted 11 July 2017 - 09:49 PM

Hello everyone,

I am recently coming out of very strange relationship. I would like everyone to give their honest opinion for legal, personal and educational purpose. I deeply appreciate people help and to have educational forum like this. I am sharing my true story.

I was married in sometime in 20xx, stayed in marriage for two years but that entire period my spouse did not want to consummate the marriage with me. I kept trying but she did let me reach below the belly button. Moreover, she was over controlling, very bossy and abusive. She used quarrel a lot and many time in anger she tried to cut her hand and also tried to take pills and overdose herself. All the time I snatched the knife or sharp object away from her or chock her nose and take out pills from her mouth. This was not it.

I have had very controlling and dominating in laws and since I was overseas qualified they really wanted me to learn best English as well as get qualified from New Zealand. I do wanted the same too but I could not manage it because I was really unhappy upset and depress with my marriage life. I felt little unsecured and dozy of them from day one because as soon as I entered their home they took my passport away from me and put in to their locker. Also, father in law uttered some phrases that was not welcoming.

Initially, I was patient for about two months. Then my spouse and her parents start putting pressure on me for qualifying exams. I could not manage the situation so I had told her parents about my condition. I thought they will do something about it; may get treatment, counseling or explain things to her to have good marital relationship. In spite of knowing my situation, they put more pressure on for qualifying exams and get a professional job. Actually, I was looking for any job too until I get job in my profession but they were not happy me doing any jobs looking at their family values. They had daily business and during all that time I helped them everyday.

They have had shop downstairs and they used to live upstairs, so I never get chance to go out for any reason. Even if we visit family that would happen after we close the shop and they would be with me. So I was house bound. I never enjoyed outdoor time and I always been a outdoor person. I did not get chance make friends other than my spouse’s siblings and her cosines. Its common sense, I cant share my private life with them or ask those short of questions. I felt suffocated with in house as well as being with limited people. Moreover, after knowing my condition her father warned me not to tell my story and any thing that happens in house to any one. During all this time I wanted to enjoy normal marriage life but never happen.

Then, I was tired of situation and wanted to run away from them by myself. I started looking for assistance on internet such as matrimonial website and making friends on internet so I may get help and escape from them and go some where far away from them. One day, I was on phone with my mum and she started screaming at me and my mum could listen to her. She felt really unsecured about me and got worried and after few days she had heart attack due to extreme emotion. She was really worried about me. She wanted me to call me back to home and promised that if I don’t go she would never talk to me. So I start finding opportunity to run away from them. But that was not possible all the time either my passport was with in laws or she would be with me. Finally after a month I could find a chance while I was traveling alone and passport was with me and she was going to come a week later. I never wanted to run away this way but I had to do it for the sake my terrible life and also my mums promise and her health. Then I booked a ticket online and flew away leaving a message on whats app mentioning problem and word of appreciation for keeping me for a time. Then a bigger drama starts.

I reached to capital city of my native and my brother and his friend came to receive me. I met my uncle and he scold me. Then I went home and they start calling and try to make contact with us but my parents were really angry so they did not answer their phones. Until now my parents did not know about my private life. The second day I went to my uncle and from there I went to professional. I talked to him my private life and other problems that I had with her. He foolish discussed my private life with my uncle and my uncle told my dad and eventually my mum come to know it. Then my mum went really upset with them.

Coincidentally, her grand dad and his wife was coming to my native and she also booked the ticket with them and come to my native. My parents were angry so she could not come to my house. Then her dad came to India. He asked my dad to visit them but my mum also went with my dad to discuss the issues. Her dad is quite rich and send money to one of the elder in his family. He started counting on my mums mistakes. Then, my mums went really angry, she was already upset. Then her dad started being really arrogant and they quarreled over this mater. Her dad recorded everything and spread around. Finally her dad spoke out to take divorce.

Then elder get involved and try to patch us up back. But I was really upset depressed numb and unable to think what to do. My parents were angry. Elder come to house talked to my parents and tried to work out things. Finally, problem did not resolve so in three weeks time she and her dad came to our house with elders to ask me if I want her back. But still I was not sure and they have had divorce letter ready. My father read the letter he thought needed to make some changes so we waited for next day and went to the city and signed the divorce letter. Now, they starts claiming the money they lose through out entire time of marriage. Also, she started playing victim.

They sent few notices from my native as well as from New Zealand. We could not manage to pay so they took us to court. I lived in my native about a year. But they have made our life terrible; court case, they were quite rich so all the relatives even my mums real sibling isolated us. Then, I had to convince my parents and allow me to come to new zealand. I discuss this mater with my elders and also I read online blogs and similar situations and questioned to people. After positive reply finally I came to New Zealand and since then I am here now and got my residency. But still court claims is on going in my native. It has not been resolve yet.

I want to know in this my situation do I have legal rights to ask for the out from this kind marriage and not to pay their claimed money and stop bothering me. What are my rights in this situation? Please let me know. It has been already really overwhelming. Please help me to get out of this my terrible situation.

Your sincerely,

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